Well, today is officially "the big day." In about 12 hours, we will be welcoming Baby J. to the outside world. I would love and appreciate your prayers for an uneventful c-section and a healthy baby girl.
Come on Baby J. - we love you with our whole hearts!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Also, a little TMI.
I just burped. Aloud. Gross, I know. I am so pregnant. Please forgive me. It was unexpected.
But, Eleanor looked up at me, shook her head, wrinkled her nose, scowled and said, "Eew." Very succint. Very clear. Mommy, you're nasty and you generally disappoint.
But, Eleanor looked up at me, shook her head, wrinkled her nose, scowled and said, "Eew." Very succint. Very clear. Mommy, you're nasty and you generally disappoint.
One Day-Day One. This time, it's like a word palindrome.
But, turns out, I've been mixing it up with the titles. (As in Day Four, Eight Days.) But, I do not have nearly the patience to go back through and doctor them all.
Today was my very first freak out to the point of hospitalization - good for me. Haha. And, C-Day minus One. Basically, I was up all night - again. And, by morning, I was convinced that Baby J. was not moving right. So, Eleanor and I packed it up and rushed to the hospital (a good 55 minutes from my house). My sister (God bless her and despite many "obstacles") met me there with snacks and books and stayed with Eleanor while I went back to triage.
Bill met us there, and they kept me on monitoring for almost an hour. The whole time, Baby J. shimmied and shook and the nurses looked at me like I was an imbecile. They then did a BPP/sonogram and decided that Baby J. looked supremely healthy. In fact, two sonographers looked for "reasons to keep [me] overnight," but couldn't come up with one. (And, at this point, I was feeling enough movement to make me far less concerned. AND, I was hearing that Eleanor was getting sassy and fighting kids in the waiting room.)
So, after another round of monitoring, they sent me packing. Or, unpacking. And, I came back here for one last night. But, we took a family trip for movies and snacks, so I am set up for lounging!
No more lovenox. No more appointments. 18.5 hours to Baby J.
Come on Baby J. - I am SO ready!
PS - The sonographer said she saw "loads of hair." So, who knows about my ridiculous predictions. Tomorrow, we will know.
Today was my very first freak out to the point of hospitalization - good for me. Haha. And, C-Day minus One. Basically, I was up all night - again. And, by morning, I was convinced that Baby J. was not moving right. So, Eleanor and I packed it up and rushed to the hospital (a good 55 minutes from my house). My sister (God bless her and despite many "obstacles") met me there with snacks and books and stayed with Eleanor while I went back to triage.
Bill met us there, and they kept me on monitoring for almost an hour. The whole time, Baby J. shimmied and shook and the nurses looked at me like I was an imbecile. They then did a BPP/sonogram and decided that Baby J. looked supremely healthy. In fact, two sonographers looked for "reasons to keep [me] overnight," but couldn't come up with one. (And, at this point, I was feeling enough movement to make me far less concerned. AND, I was hearing that Eleanor was getting sassy and fighting kids in the waiting room.)
So, after another round of monitoring, they sent me packing. Or, unpacking. And, I came back here for one last night. But, we took a family trip for movies and snacks, so I am set up for lounging!
No more lovenox. No more appointments. 18.5 hours to Baby J.
Come on Baby J. - I am SO ready!
PS - The sonographer said she saw "loads of hair." So, who knows about my ridiculous predictions. Tomorrow, we will know.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Two days.
Well, I'll be honest, my anxiety is at an all-time high. (Sure to be beat out by tomorrow.) But, I just decided this post won't be about the anxiety, because what's the point?
This one will be about my family. My mother in law said something at lunch today that got me thinking. "Baby J. will be the best gift you can give to Eleanor." And, I think she is right. Baby J. is a best friend for Eleanor for hopefully the rest of her life. And, despite all this fear right now (note I did not say anxiety), she is my gift to my whole family. I am a person with a lot of love to give, talents to share, and laughter to let loose. But, my greatest gift to this world has been, by far, my girls. Baby J. is a gift to us all. And, sometimes gifts are not easy things to give. Especially the homemade, womb-grown kind. They come with risks and fears, along with all the hopes you have for the happiness they will bring.
Baby J. marks a new era in our family. This is never the family I imagined. I could never have believed, a few years ago, that I would be 26 and have already buried my first child. I would never have wished for this life. How could I? But, the really amazing thing? I also could never have imagined I would be this happy. I am who I am - we are who we are. Sophie Salome is who she is. An angel that watches us and who I can pray to any time I want. Eleanor Angelina is a little punky, sweet-kissing, sass-mouthing tot. She, too, is who she is (thank goodness). Now, I am so excited to welcome Baby J. to the mix. Baby J., to me, completes our family. We are undecided (to be generous) about having any more children (due to our medical issues and, frankly, the pressure that pregnancy puts on my figurative heart). So, in a world I never could have imagined, a healthy Baby J. will mark something distinct and poignant to me. A whole family. I can live life like this - with a baby girl forever in heaven. But, God-willing, when my Baby J. arrives, I will let my soul rest a bit on the idea of our family as it stands.
A family of girls, one in heaven, with a Daddy who loves us. It's simple. And, it hurts. But, it's mine and ours.
Come on, Baby J. - this family is waiting to hear that cry.
This one will be about my family. My mother in law said something at lunch today that got me thinking. "Baby J. will be the best gift you can give to Eleanor." And, I think she is right. Baby J. is a best friend for Eleanor for hopefully the rest of her life. And, despite all this fear right now (note I did not say anxiety), she is my gift to my whole family. I am a person with a lot of love to give, talents to share, and laughter to let loose. But, my greatest gift to this world has been, by far, my girls. Baby J. is a gift to us all. And, sometimes gifts are not easy things to give. Especially the homemade, womb-grown kind. They come with risks and fears, along with all the hopes you have for the happiness they will bring.
Baby J. marks a new era in our family. This is never the family I imagined. I could never have believed, a few years ago, that I would be 26 and have already buried my first child. I would never have wished for this life. How could I? But, the really amazing thing? I also could never have imagined I would be this happy. I am who I am - we are who we are. Sophie Salome is who she is. An angel that watches us and who I can pray to any time I want. Eleanor Angelina is a little punky, sweet-kissing, sass-mouthing tot. She, too, is who she is (thank goodness). Now, I am so excited to welcome Baby J. to the mix. Baby J., to me, completes our family. We are undecided (to be generous) about having any more children (due to our medical issues and, frankly, the pressure that pregnancy puts on my figurative heart). So, in a world I never could have imagined, a healthy Baby J. will mark something distinct and poignant to me. A whole family. I can live life like this - with a baby girl forever in heaven. But, God-willing, when my Baby J. arrives, I will let my soul rest a bit on the idea of our family as it stands.
A family of girls, one in heaven, with a Daddy who loves us. It's simple. And, it hurts. But, it's mine and ours.
Come on, Baby J. - this family is waiting to hear that cry.
Watching the pot.
It is 3:53 AM, and I am up in a frenzy. Just the usual, pondering things and frantically alternating between crying and trying to count kicks. (See Day Three post.) But, when there's not much to report in the kick department, sometimes the pondering helps. The other day, I was relating my kick counting to the phrase, "a watched pot never boils." I guess it's relevant in that people are always suggesting that I try relaxing or taking my mind off of moments when I am feeling crazy about Baby J. As in, if you stop looking for kicks or counting the days, they will simply come. And, if I sit around in constant wait, they will take longer to arrive. As in, "a watched pot never boils."
And, I was just thinking how utterly stupid that is. I mean, equally stupid I guess is sitting around watching the literal pot you hope will boil. But, what is obvious is that "a watched pot always boils." There is frankly no reason why not to sit around and watch the pot. For example, if you are starving, and have just gotten your hands on some pathetic noodles. You are probably pretty desperate for boiling water. I can completely understand watching that pot. And, despite the myth, I promise that even if you stand around staring the water is quite likely to boil. (Assuming, of course, that you are not a complete dunce and the pot is on a stove which is turned on to an appropriate temperature, etc. Otherwise, it is true, it will not boil.)
So, taking it one step further into neurosis, I would add, "...if you are not carefully attending the pot, disaster is likely to ensue." Consider this, what idiot suggests placing a pot on direct heat and walking away? An idiot soon to be homeless due to fire, that's for sure.
Basically, my point is that watching the pot is sometimes all you can do. (And, sometimes it's even, believe it or not, the most prudent thing.) When you are desperate for boiling water, there is no reason to tear yourself away. Here I am, starving for Baby J., so you bet your, err, neck I will be sitting around looking for the nourishing first boiling little rumbles of her kicks. And, then I will stay awake all night making sure she is boiling safely and reasonably. 52 more hours of watching this particular pot.
And, I was just thinking how utterly stupid that is. I mean, equally stupid I guess is sitting around watching the literal pot you hope will boil. But, what is obvious is that "a watched pot always boils." There is frankly no reason why not to sit around and watch the pot. For example, if you are starving, and have just gotten your hands on some pathetic noodles. You are probably pretty desperate for boiling water. I can completely understand watching that pot. And, despite the myth, I promise that even if you stand around staring the water is quite likely to boil. (Assuming, of course, that you are not a complete dunce and the pot is on a stove which is turned on to an appropriate temperature, etc. Otherwise, it is true, it will not boil.)
So, taking it one step further into neurosis, I would add, "...if you are not carefully attending the pot, disaster is likely to ensue." Consider this, what idiot suggests placing a pot on direct heat and walking away? An idiot soon to be homeless due to fire, that's for sure.
Basically, my point is that watching the pot is sometimes all you can do. (And, sometimes it's even, believe it or not, the most prudent thing.) When you are desperate for boiling water, there is no reason to tear yourself away. Here I am, starving for Baby J., so you bet your, err, neck I will be sitting around looking for the nourishing first boiling little rumbles of her kicks. And, then I will stay awake all night making sure she is boiling safely and reasonably. 52 more hours of watching this particular pot.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Day Four.
So, here is something crazy. God willing, if everything goes as planned, one week from today, we will be bringing Baby J. home from the hospital! Now, I know it's a lot to presume that everything will go "as planned." But, we are wishing and praying and moving along with that hope in our hearts.
Today has been another day of organizing and cleaning. (And, I am feeling 100% better - no more "sick.") Officially, we are about two hours from "ready." Yes, we are one day ahead of my schedule, but that is great because we have errands to run tomorrow and I hope to have one last pregnant lunch with the awesome Criss kids.
Monday, I have an OB appointment, followed by hanging out with the Baylys!
And, Tuesday, to the hospital for labwork, followed (hopefully!) by hanging out with my mom.
Wednesday, in the early morning, off to Holy Cross! (Like you didn't know that.)
But, there is the possibility that I won't get to Wednesday. Baby J. has "dropped," which even though this is my third pregnancy is a first for me. I can bend over - yay! That's very important when you are in a cleaning frenzy. I mean, there is a always a chance that my "water could break." Hahahaha. Not going to happen. Never has. But, we shall see.
Come on Baby J. - I am in good spirits and ready for your sweetness!
Today has been another day of organizing and cleaning. (And, I am feeling 100% better - no more "sick.") Officially, we are about two hours from "ready." Yes, we are one day ahead of my schedule, but that is great because we have errands to run tomorrow and I hope to have one last pregnant lunch with the awesome Criss kids.
Monday, I have an OB appointment, followed by hanging out with the Baylys!
And, Tuesday, to the hospital for labwork, followed (hopefully!) by hanging out with my mom.
Wednesday, in the early morning, off to Holy Cross! (Like you didn't know that.)
But, there is the possibility that I won't get to Wednesday. Baby J. has "dropped," which even though this is my third pregnancy is a first for me. I can bend over - yay! That's very important when you are in a cleaning frenzy. I mean, there is a always a chance that my "water could break." Hahahaha. Not going to happen. Never has. But, we shall see.
Come on Baby J. - I am in good spirits and ready for your sweetness!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Now we've gone and done it.
Well, we broke down and started assembling Babytown (formerly known as our house) today. Or actually, we are in the middle of it. (I've been taking breaks to feel still very sick from last night.) Either way, it is under construction. And, I'll be honest, it's really hard. We've washed the clothes, seats, etc. And, one seat is even assembled in its place in the family room. The car seat is ready to roll and I am about to begin folding baby clothes. I wish I could say it felt right or that I was OK with the process. But, knowing all that can happen, my anxiety is at an all-time high. I've been on an emotional roller coaster, which has led me to crying, throwing up, etc. But, we are pushing through. (And, thank goodness for Eleanor to keep me up and running.)
Needless to say, I miss Sophie every day. (Especially as more and more people seem to mention her less and less, although that's a battle that hurt too much to wage and that I gave up long ago.) But, putting out the seats makes my heart hurt. I remember the process of putting them away, unused. And, it breaks me down a bit. (When we had Eleanor, I never even took the seats out - our families had to come in and do that. And, I didn't even wash the clothes until we had her home.) So, this is a first for me since Sophie. I am happy and know how lucky I am to have Eleanor, and how blessed I am to have even this moment with Baby J. But, I can't help but feel the stabs of pain as I prepare for a new baby and spend time watching Eleanor grow, knowing how my heart aches and missing my Soph.
No matter what happens, I love my girls. And, I won't regret preparing the house hoping for the best.
Prepare to be born, Baby J.
Rest up for the days to come, Eleanor.
Watch out for our hearts, Sophie Salome.
Needless to say, I miss Sophie every day. (Especially as more and more people seem to mention her less and less, although that's a battle that hurt too much to wage and that I gave up long ago.) But, putting out the seats makes my heart hurt. I remember the process of putting them away, unused. And, it breaks me down a bit. (When we had Eleanor, I never even took the seats out - our families had to come in and do that. And, I didn't even wash the clothes until we had her home.) So, this is a first for me since Sophie. I am happy and know how lucky I am to have Eleanor, and how blessed I am to have even this moment with Baby J. But, I can't help but feel the stabs of pain as I prepare for a new baby and spend time watching Eleanor grow, knowing how my heart aches and missing my Soph.
No matter what happens, I love my girls. And, I won't regret preparing the house hoping for the best.
Prepare to be born, Baby J.
Rest up for the days to come, Eleanor.
Watch out for our hearts, Sophie Salome.
Day Five.
Project house overhaul has begun! And, it's a bigger deal than I imagined because I did not account for the changes that would need to be made due to new Christmas things.
But, oh well, more to keep me busy!
I had my LAST sonogram this morning. Next time I see Baby J., she will be in color and real time!
Come on Baby J. - I just love you!
But, oh well, more to keep me busy!
I had my LAST sonogram this morning. Next time I see Baby J., she will be in color and real time!
Come on Baby J. - I just love you!
Christmas! Ho ho ho!
We had an amazing Christmas!
Both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were spent with family, and it was wonderful. First, Eleanor and I went to my mom's and baked cookies. Eleanor really enjoyed helping with the scooping and stirring! Then, following a brief anxiety attack (this stage of the pregnancy is very difficult for me), we went to Bill's Aunt Loretta's for her annual Christmas Eve party. I believe I ate ten crab balls. (Please, no one EVER tell me that they must have mayonnaise in them. I do NOT want to know. For now, I will assume vegan bread crumbs are used to make the delicious lump crab meat cohere.)
Then, we went back to my mom's for dinner! Eleanor absolutely loved the lasagna, and ate leftovers of it for lunch today! We had so much fun seeing my brothers, and my mom gave me a new CAMERA! So, I will be uploading pictures today. I couldn't be more pumped.
We didn't get home until about midnight on Christmas Eve. And, then we stayed up until 3:15 am (latest night ever) wrapping gifts, staring at our tree, being stupid, and laughing hysterically. I have to say it ranked in the top 1,000 times in my life. (I've had a lot of good times!)
But, then, we woke up to the alarm at 6:15 so we could get ready and be up and moving when Eleanor got up. We dragged her out of bed at 8 am and did our little family opening. We kept the gifts very moderate, so it was very quiet. Good thing, because after three hours of sleep, we didn't have the energy for much more!
Then, we left for our Christmas morning brunch with Bill's family. That was delicious, and followed by a present opening extravaganza. Let's just say, Eleanor has a whole new wardrobe and our "family" room has officially morphed into a "play" room. :o)
Finally, we went to my mom's for an open house with her siblings and my cousins. Eleanor had lots of fun tormenting Gladys (my grandfather's "friend") and rough housing it with Fiona (two) and Natalie (one), and then with Vincent and Victoria, her cousins.
Then, as we were about to leave, I began to feel ill. I proceeding to vomit the whole way home. When I got home, I took a steaming hot shower and passed out. I guess I'd just overdone it with the lack of sleep, majorly decadent food, and, oh yeah, being over nine months pregnant.
Once I figure out how to install my camera, I will be uploading the 170 pictures I took over the last 48 hours - be ready!
Both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were spent with family, and it was wonderful. First, Eleanor and I went to my mom's and baked cookies. Eleanor really enjoyed helping with the scooping and stirring! Then, following a brief anxiety attack (this stage of the pregnancy is very difficult for me), we went to Bill's Aunt Loretta's for her annual Christmas Eve party. I believe I ate ten crab balls. (Please, no one EVER tell me that they must have mayonnaise in them. I do NOT want to know. For now, I will assume vegan bread crumbs are used to make the delicious lump crab meat cohere.)
Then, we went back to my mom's for dinner! Eleanor absolutely loved the lasagna, and ate leftovers of it for lunch today! We had so much fun seeing my brothers, and my mom gave me a new CAMERA! So, I will be uploading pictures today. I couldn't be more pumped.
We didn't get home until about midnight on Christmas Eve. And, then we stayed up until 3:15 am (latest night ever) wrapping gifts, staring at our tree, being stupid, and laughing hysterically. I have to say it ranked in the top 1,000 times in my life. (I've had a lot of good times!)
But, then, we woke up to the alarm at 6:15 so we could get ready and be up and moving when Eleanor got up. We dragged her out of bed at 8 am and did our little family opening. We kept the gifts very moderate, so it was very quiet. Good thing, because after three hours of sleep, we didn't have the energy for much more!
Then, we left for our Christmas morning brunch with Bill's family. That was delicious, and followed by a present opening extravaganza. Let's just say, Eleanor has a whole new wardrobe and our "family" room has officially morphed into a "play" room. :o)
Finally, we went to my mom's for an open house with her siblings and my cousins. Eleanor had lots of fun tormenting Gladys (my grandfather's "friend") and rough housing it with Fiona (two) and Natalie (one), and then with Vincent and Victoria, her cousins.
Then, as we were about to leave, I began to feel ill. I proceeding to vomit the whole way home. When I got home, I took a steaming hot shower and passed out. I guess I'd just overdone it with the lack of sleep, majorly decadent food, and, oh yeah, being over nine months pregnant.
Once I figure out how to install my camera, I will be uploading the 170 pictures I took over the last 48 hours - be ready!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Days Seven & Six
Merry Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! Pictures to come.
Come on Baby J. - We're ready for holidays with you!
Come on Baby J. - We're ready for holidays with you!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Eve.
It is a weird morning. I am up and it is still pitch dark outside. But, it is almost seven am. I've been having rough nights, with a lot of anxiety, nightmares, and discomfort. (Hmm, surprise! I'm super pregnant and crazy anxious.) I am up now because I am trying to count kicks. I know Baby J. just needs some ice water and time to wake up. She's been such a healthy baby all along and we've been so well-doctored. So, anyway to take my mind off the waiting, here is a list of things I like and don't like. Just because, why not.
Like: Captchas that sound like real words. Like "afflep" would work well for me. Whereas, "mjtik" is really hard to understand.
Dislike: Perfume commercials. I mean, has anyone seen the new Britney Spears "Fantasies" commercial. It's demeaning, stupid, and sweaty.
Like: Bagels. I would eat them all day. My favorite? Hummus and lettuce on untoasted Old Bay.
Dislike: Caraway.
Like: Viva paper towels.
........
Haha, well that list sucks. So much so that I won't continue. Around the time I wrote "bagels," Baby J. woke up. I got distracted and the list went to the dogs.
Oh well.
Merry Christmas Eve!
Like: Captchas that sound like real words. Like "afflep" would work well for me. Whereas, "mjtik" is really hard to understand.
Dislike: Perfume commercials. I mean, has anyone seen the new Britney Spears "Fantasies" commercial. It's demeaning, stupid, and sweaty.
Like: Bagels. I would eat them all day. My favorite? Hummus and lettuce on untoasted Old Bay.
Dislike: Caraway.
Like: Viva paper towels.
........
Haha, well that list sucks. So much so that I won't continue. Around the time I wrote "bagels," Baby J. woke up. I got distracted and the list went to the dogs.
Oh well.
Merry Christmas Eve!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Eight days.
So, I know no one cares what my schedule (updated since I last wrote it down) is over the next eight days. But, when I write it down, it organizes me and makes me feel like the days may somehow be manageable. Neurosis? Maybe. But, here it goes.
Wednesday -
Super Breakfast with Bill.
9:30 AM doctor's appointment for Eleanor.
Baking with my mom, sissy, and Eleanor.
My mom's Christmas Eve Party.
Bill's Aunt Loretta's Christmas Eve Party.
Thursday -
Christmas Morning with the Baylys.
Afternoon open house at my mom's.
Friday -
Sonogram at 9 AM.
(Potential) double date with the Crisses.
Saturday -
Prep the house! (Wash and put out/away baby items. Clean bathrooms. Mop. Vacuum. Do all laundry. Pack bags for ourselves and Eleanor. Clean and organize car.)
Sunday -
Prep continues. (See above.)
Add Church (potentially).
Monday -
OB appointment at 10:30 AM (while Eleanor hangs out with the Baylys).
Kicking it with Eleanor.
Last lovenox injection.
Tuesday -
Labwork at Holy Cross to prep for C-section.
A little shopping at the nearby Babies R Us and Target for the things we will inevitably realize we need during our overhaul.
Wednesday -
Drop Eleanor off... :o(
...for a few days of special time with her Grammies. :o)
C-section!
I had to say "farewell" to one of my favorite sonographers today. When we were leaving, I had to schedule my last appointment for this Friday and she told me that she won't be there. It will be quite a while before I see her again (if ever!). That is sad to me, but means that the appointments really are coming to an end. And, good thing I also love the other sonographer, who will be there on Friday.
Come on Baby J. - I can't wait to meet you out here!
Wednesday -
Super Breakfast with Bill.
9:30 AM doctor's appointment for Eleanor.
Baking with my mom, sissy, and Eleanor.
My mom's Christmas Eve Party.
Bill's Aunt Loretta's Christmas Eve Party.
Thursday -
Christmas Morning with the Baylys.
Afternoon open house at my mom's.
Friday -
Sonogram at 9 AM.
(Potential) double date with the Crisses.
Saturday -
Prep the house! (Wash and put out/away baby items. Clean bathrooms. Mop. Vacuum. Do all laundry. Pack bags for ourselves and Eleanor. Clean and organize car.)
Sunday -
Prep continues. (See above.)
Add Church (potentially).
Monday -
OB appointment at 10:30 AM (while Eleanor hangs out with the Baylys).
Kicking it with Eleanor.
Last lovenox injection.
Tuesday -
Labwork at Holy Cross to prep for C-section.
A little shopping at the nearby Babies R Us and Target for the things we will inevitably realize we need during our overhaul.
Wednesday -
Drop Eleanor off... :o(
...for a few days of special time with her Grammies. :o)
C-section!
I had to say "farewell" to one of my favorite sonographers today. When we were leaving, I had to schedule my last appointment for this Friday and she told me that she won't be there. It will be quite a while before I see her again (if ever!). That is sad to me, but means that the appointments really are coming to an end. And, good thing I also love the other sonographer, who will be there on Friday.
Come on Baby J. - I can't wait to meet you out here!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Update on Eleanor.
Eleanor's face is gradually improving. She is gorgeous as usual. She's punky as ever (as was confirmed at Barnes and Noble today).
Three of her four scars look wonderful! The one that was infected is definitely looking like it will scar permanently. It is still purple, puckered, and indented. I am a little disappointed, but what can I do? She is still my perfect little Eleanor. :o)
Three of her four scars look wonderful! The one that was infected is definitely looking like it will scar permanently. It is still purple, puckered, and indented. I am a little disappointed, but what can I do? She is still my perfect little Eleanor. :o)
Nine Days!
We are into the single digits! Amazing - even though it seems still so far away. I had an OB appointment today and we confirmed for the 31st. I am ignoring the actual fact that I am going to be cut in two in nine days. Because, who cares about that, when they are cutting a sweet baby out! Totally worth it. :o)
Well, I need to get off of here to focus on counting kicks. With each passing day, I am more and more vigilant.
Well, I need to get off of here to focus on counting kicks. With each passing day, I am more and more vigilant.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
10 days.
10 days? Yipee!
Baby J. seems to be thriving in there. She is a great mover and I am very watchful. So far, all is well. And "so far" really IS far! I can't believe that we are almost to the single digits. And, with Christmas, Christmas Eve, five doctors appointments (between me and Eleanor), and Bill off work for five days, we are in for some busy times. The days pass like years, but somehow they DO pass. :o)
I am definitely planning on getting in shape after having Baby J. So, here is something I'll miss - eating whatever I want! Now, even when I'm not pregnant, I always eat pretty much whatever I want. But, what I want is usually tempered by how hungry I am. This pregnant, all that dictates what I want is the taste! Today, I went to brunch for my mom's birthday, and I swear it was the definition of "eating for two." I was actually giddy. The spread was incredible and at 9 pm I am still full! My goodness, it was awesome. Anyway, enough about how FANTASTIC the Sheraton buffet brunch is (haha). I know that as soon as I have Baby J., I will have to and want to be more moderate. And, I will miss miss miss this overindulgence.
But, on the other hand, I will NOT miss being this stagnant. Around the time I am feeling up to it and Baby J. is big enough (I am guessing sometime in March), I will be loving my daily walks again. And, the weather will be just right!
So, someday, I will be svelte again. I am pretty confident in my ability to get "it" back. Haha. But, moreso, I look forward to feeling good and playing/moving energetically again! And, it will be way more fun with Eleanor and my Baby J. :o)
Baby J. seems to be thriving in there. She is a great mover and I am very watchful. So far, all is well. And "so far" really IS far! I can't believe that we are almost to the single digits. And, with Christmas, Christmas Eve, five doctors appointments (between me and Eleanor), and Bill off work for five days, we are in for some busy times. The days pass like years, but somehow they DO pass. :o)
I am definitely planning on getting in shape after having Baby J. So, here is something I'll miss - eating whatever I want! Now, even when I'm not pregnant, I always eat pretty much whatever I want. But, what I want is usually tempered by how hungry I am. This pregnant, all that dictates what I want is the taste! Today, I went to brunch for my mom's birthday, and I swear it was the definition of "eating for two." I was actually giddy. The spread was incredible and at 9 pm I am still full! My goodness, it was awesome. Anyway, enough about how FANTASTIC the Sheraton buffet brunch is (haha). I know that as soon as I have Baby J., I will have to and want to be more moderate. And, I will miss miss miss this overindulgence.
But, on the other hand, I will NOT miss being this stagnant. Around the time I am feeling up to it and Baby J. is big enough (I am guessing sometime in March), I will be loving my daily walks again. And, the weather will be just right!
So, someday, I will be svelte again. I am pretty confident in my ability to get "it" back. Haha. But, moreso, I look forward to feeling good and playing/moving energetically again! And, it will be way more fun with Eleanor and my Baby J. :o)
Saturday, December 20, 2008
11 days.
Updated prediction: Baby J. may have very little hair! My reason for thinking this: Very little heartburn. Whereas with Sophie and Eleanor, I had tons of awful heartburn, I've had almost none with Baby J. So, we shall see! Best guess so far: very little hair, green eyes, and a face like Eleanor's. We'll see.
Also, after our incident here, we have decided to go pet-free. We are SO thankful to our wonderful friend's business for taking the Pip-Meister (our cat). Tonight is our first night with just humans in the house. It's already been weird. But, it is nice feeling at ease with Eleanor playing around our home. :o) And, it also extra nice to know that when Baby J. comes we can leave her sleeping without worrying about cat-curiosity.
So, 11 days left. We are in the preteens of days. That's a nice thought. Speaking of preteens, yesterday was my last day watching my nephews (for a while). I will definitely miss them (or at least their better, un-preteen moments), but it is really nice to know that Bill and I can spend some upcoming days lavishing Eleanor with uninterrupted attention. And, that when Baby J. comes, we can focus on bonding with her all day!
Come on Baby J. - I am just hanging around waiting!
Also, after our incident here, we have decided to go pet-free. We are SO thankful to our wonderful friend's business for taking the Pip-Meister (our cat). Tonight is our first night with just humans in the house. It's already been weird. But, it is nice feeling at ease with Eleanor playing around our home. :o) And, it also extra nice to know that when Baby J. comes we can leave her sleeping without worrying about cat-curiosity.
So, 11 days left. We are in the preteens of days. That's a nice thought. Speaking of preteens, yesterday was my last day watching my nephews (for a while). I will definitely miss them (or at least their better, un-preteen moments), but it is really nice to know that Bill and I can spend some upcoming days lavishing Eleanor with uninterrupted attention. And, that when Baby J. comes, we can focus on bonding with her all day!
Come on Baby J. - I am just hanging around waiting!
Friday, December 19, 2008
12 days.
Well, I didn't want to risk forgetting to actually post again. So, here I am early in the day, posting it up! I may actually be nesting. At this minute, I am watching A Baby Story (a really irritating couple is on today). But, overall, today I've reorganized Eleanor's room, cleaned all the floors, and done two loads of laundry. That doesn't seem like a lot, but the little lady's room was a HUGE task. (I was moving furniture, etc. because either I am nesting, or not, but I wouldn't mind labor at this point.) I am just so anxious and excited to have Baby J. here and I want our house to be clean and ready for her!
Below, I am reposting something I wrote when I was even less pregnant than this with Sophie. In just the last few days, my sleep has been eluding me. It's been easier than the other pregnancies, but it's still getting to be a bit rough. And, all this I am remembering from before...
The Worst Part of Pregnancy
The sleeping, or more accurately the inability to sleep, is surely the worst part of pregnancy (in a close race with the complete emotional instability). I once remember having a healthy appetite for sleep. Used to sleeping mostly through the darkness, I now am awake for nearly half of the night. I am constantly exhausted - I can assure you that is not the problem. The problem is surprisingly not one of emotional unrest, although that surely can't help, but more so one of sheer physical discomfort. I employ a system as I lay down for the night - a system which seems only to help on a minuscule level. A body pillow runs the full length of my shoulders and back, down to right around my ankles. Another long pillow extends from my chest, around the curve of the now-bulging belly, and stops around my upper thighs. There is another pillow of the fluffy variety between my knees and an entire posse of pillows insulating my head. I sleep in a pillow prison. This must make things easier - otherwise it would surely be a waste of immense effort. However, I am still up half the night with surging pains from my spreading hipbones to my knees, which can hardly support me any longer. There is also an incredible and irritating pain in either side of my tummy - where the ligaments are straining and, in my best estimate, very nearly about to snap. The worst part of it all are my trips to the bathroom each night, which average somewhere in the teens. I actually have to scale the great wall built up around me with my nearly 30 extra pounds of cargo and shuffle noisily to the bathroom. Upon my return, there is a sideways flop back into the straight jacket of my sleeping life. "Tossing and turning" have slipped into obsolescence. A six-point turn is required to get me from one side to the other - right leg, right hip (as the hips are now totally disconnected from the actual body), left hip, left leg, and a great heave of the shoulders, all followed by the gigantic pulsing stomach. And fucking forget about "tossing". And then, there is the near constant and crippling fear of the charlie horse. I wake up daily with one or the other calf sore and swollen from repeated and painful muscle spasms. For most women, a single solitary charlie horse would be enough to send her running for the hills, but this is merely one of the mundane trials of pregnancy. I must remind myself often that at the end of this dark and terrifying journey, there will be a great reward - hurry out Sophie - mommy needs a nap. (An evil laugh rises amongst the mothers reading this who know that no nap is to come. Ever.)
(PS - Let us not forget to pay homage to big, hairy and exhausted baby making partner huddled blanketless and clinging to the 1' x 5' rectangle of mattress that now constitutes "his side of the bed".)
Below, I am reposting something I wrote when I was even less pregnant than this with Sophie. In just the last few days, my sleep has been eluding me. It's been easier than the other pregnancies, but it's still getting to be a bit rough. And, all this I am remembering from before...
The Worst Part of Pregnancy
The sleeping, or more accurately the inability to sleep, is surely the worst part of pregnancy (in a close race with the complete emotional instability). I once remember having a healthy appetite for sleep. Used to sleeping mostly through the darkness, I now am awake for nearly half of the night. I am constantly exhausted - I can assure you that is not the problem. The problem is surprisingly not one of emotional unrest, although that surely can't help, but more so one of sheer physical discomfort. I employ a system as I lay down for the night - a system which seems only to help on a minuscule level. A body pillow runs the full length of my shoulders and back, down to right around my ankles. Another long pillow extends from my chest, around the curve of the now-bulging belly, and stops around my upper thighs. There is another pillow of the fluffy variety between my knees and an entire posse of pillows insulating my head. I sleep in a pillow prison. This must make things easier - otherwise it would surely be a waste of immense effort. However, I am still up half the night with surging pains from my spreading hipbones to my knees, which can hardly support me any longer. There is also an incredible and irritating pain in either side of my tummy - where the ligaments are straining and, in my best estimate, very nearly about to snap. The worst part of it all are my trips to the bathroom each night, which average somewhere in the teens. I actually have to scale the great wall built up around me with my nearly 30 extra pounds of cargo and shuffle noisily to the bathroom. Upon my return, there is a sideways flop back into the straight jacket of my sleeping life. "Tossing and turning" have slipped into obsolescence. A six-point turn is required to get me from one side to the other - right leg, right hip (as the hips are now totally disconnected from the actual body), left hip, left leg, and a great heave of the shoulders, all followed by the gigantic pulsing stomach. And fucking forget about "tossing". And then, there is the near constant and crippling fear of the charlie horse. I wake up daily with one or the other calf sore and swollen from repeated and painful muscle spasms. For most women, a single solitary charlie horse would be enough to send her running for the hills, but this is merely one of the mundane trials of pregnancy. I must remind myself often that at the end of this dark and terrifying journey, there will be a great reward - hurry out Sophie - mommy needs a nap. (An evil laugh rises amongst the mothers reading this who know that no nap is to come. Ever.)
(PS - Let us not forget to pay homage to big, hairy and exhausted baby making partner huddled blanketless and clinging to the 1' x 5' rectangle of mattress that now constitutes "his side of the bed".)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
13 days.
Or better yet, ONE week (and six measly days)! I am feeling energized today after a great NST. My doctor had an emergency in which she was covering for another sick doctor, so she canceled my appointment at the very last minute. But, the young nurse at the office agreed to conduct an NST for me. We did that, and she faxed it to my doctor. Doc called immediately to let me know the NST looked reactive and strong. Monday, I am back to her office for my second-to-last "real" appointment. Yes!
I can not wait to dress Baby J. in less than two weeks. After Christmas, Bill has a few days off and we will be washing all the baby clothes and readying the house. That being said, I am thinking Baby J. might need a new outfit. Something special and maybe striped. Maybe with a new hat. We have lots of clothes, but not much NB sized stuff that is as yet unworn. I am going to look around for something that fits the bill. :o) Because those little baby feet that are kicking me right now are going to need much warm gear - it IS December!
PS - The days to Baby J. are less than half they were when I started this countdown. This might really happen. Come on Baby J. - Mommy has SO many clothes to put your perfection in!
PPS - I thought I posted this last night, but I saved it as a draft. My first "missed day." Tsk tsk.
I can not wait to dress Baby J. in less than two weeks. After Christmas, Bill has a few days off and we will be washing all the baby clothes and readying the house. That being said, I am thinking Baby J. might need a new outfit. Something special and maybe striped. Maybe with a new hat. We have lots of clothes, but not much NB sized stuff that is as yet unworn. I am going to look around for something that fits the bill. :o) Because those little baby feet that are kicking me right now are going to need much warm gear - it IS December!
PS - The days to Baby J. are less than half they were when I started this countdown. This might really happen. Come on Baby J. - Mommy has SO many clothes to put your perfection in!
PPS - I thought I posted this last night, but I saved it as a draft. My first "missed day." Tsk tsk.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
14 days.
I just ordered my last batch of lovenox! Maybe in life. And, we are 14 days from Baby J. Those are some great things!
I am really excited to have skin-to-skin/kangaroo care time with Baby J. Enough said, right?
Come on Baby J. - I just need a snuggle.
I am really excited to have skin-to-skin/kangaroo care time with Baby J. Enough said, right?
Come on Baby J. - I just need a snuggle.
So tired.
A friend (also 30 some weeks pregnant) asked me today how I am feeling. Am I feeling big? Etc. And, I had to answer her honestly. I feel that drained sort of feeling a person can get from a crash diet, not a pregnancy. I feel like my whole body is wilting, even though I am 35 plus weeks pregnant. I attribute it partly to my smaller weight gain (just under 30 lbs when my usual has been up around 50), but moreso to all we have going on. I guess in part it is being pregnant and chasing Eleanor. Also, anyone who has been this pregnant at the holidays will likely confirm it is exhausting. But, I feel absolutely drained - like the nutrients have just been leached from my bones. I don't even feel pregnant. I just feel exhausted; I even feel small. I know I am not, but boy do I feel it. It's like I don't even have time to take a deep breath.
Yesterday was my birthday, and I didn't have the energy to care. (Although, I certainly got a great surge of joy from every phone call or message - thank you!) I think, with the anxiety of being this pregnant, Eleanor's facial trauma, the emotional energy of everything that came along with it, being flat broke, having more doctor's appointments than there are days in the week, and the upcoming holidays and other engagements, it is just too much.
But, the upsides? Each day, we pray for Baby J.'s safe arrival. When I look at it objectively, I do like the holidays. The doctor's appointments will subside. I know all of that. It just only makes it a little better when I am this pregnant and shuttling to doctor's appointments every day that are an hour away.
And, even though it may not have gotten adequate blog coverage, this stuff with Eleanor has been so draining on my heart. First, there is the inherent reminder of her mortality when she was injured in our own home. That was really hard to stomach. Also, her beautiful little face being so scarred is really hard to deal with. And, today, she had to be straight jacketed again, be injected in the face with anesthetic, and have her deepest wound reopened, scraped out, and packed with gauze. Seeing your baby's little screaming face sticking out of the top of a tight white sheet while she is scraped and bled is just too much, even when you aren't 35 weeks pregnant and doing it so far twice a week. We go back to the wound care center Christmas Eve for another "treatment." We can just hope this helps.
So, tomorrow, we have an OB appointment, and Friday I have to give blood. Then, we get a weekend - my gracious, I need a weekend.
Yesterday was my birthday, and I didn't have the energy to care. (Although, I certainly got a great surge of joy from every phone call or message - thank you!) I think, with the anxiety of being this pregnant, Eleanor's facial trauma, the emotional energy of everything that came along with it, being flat broke, having more doctor's appointments than there are days in the week, and the upcoming holidays and other engagements, it is just too much.
But, the upsides? Each day, we pray for Baby J.'s safe arrival. When I look at it objectively, I do like the holidays. The doctor's appointments will subside. I know all of that. It just only makes it a little better when I am this pregnant and shuttling to doctor's appointments every day that are an hour away.
And, even though it may not have gotten adequate blog coverage, this stuff with Eleanor has been so draining on my heart. First, there is the inherent reminder of her mortality when she was injured in our own home. That was really hard to stomach. Also, her beautiful little face being so scarred is really hard to deal with. And, today, she had to be straight jacketed again, be injected in the face with anesthetic, and have her deepest wound reopened, scraped out, and packed with gauze. Seeing your baby's little screaming face sticking out of the top of a tight white sheet while she is scraped and bled is just too much, even when you aren't 35 weeks pregnant and doing it so far twice a week. We go back to the wound care center Christmas Eve for another "treatment." We can just hope this helps.
So, tomorrow, we have an OB appointment, and Friday I have to give blood. Then, we get a weekend - my gracious, I need a weekend.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
15 days.
Baby J. is a big girl. Her weight check today put her at 6 lb 2 oz, which is the same weight Eleanor was when she was born. But, tomorrow, we will be two weeks away. That would put her at over 8 lbs at 37 weeks - I doubt that will happen. But, it is nice to know she is a big healthy girl.
Back to my favorite subject, Baby J.'s looks! Bill thinks Baby J. will look just like Eleanor, and I wanted to post something you might find interesting. (And, might convince you/me he is right.)
Check out that teeny nose! Eleanor has the littlest nose on Earth, and you easily see the same nose on Baby J. We had a sonogram today that confirmed - tiny nose baby, coming right up!
Come on Baby J. - I am ready to kiss that nose!
Monday, December 15, 2008
16 days.
Well, my 16 days post was just deleted by blogger. Blast.
But, the gist was how New Years Eve will be Baby J.'s birthday, God-willing. We will be so excited to have awesome slumber parties one day, complete with sparkling cider and silver tinsel! (Parents, you will want your daughter to be nice to J., if you want a free baby sitter on New Years Eve in a few years!)
In lieu of trying to recall my old post, I will post a list of the following days and our potential comings and goings.
Tuesday, December 16 - Sonogram (weight check and BPP) & my birthday.
Wednesday, December 17 - Eleanor's facial reconstruction (major exaggeration).
Thursday, December 18 - OB visit for me & Eleanor to hang out with Patti.
Friday, December 19 - My mom's birthday, maybe my last day with my nephews for two months, & a possible double date.
Saturday, December 20 - Open.
Sunday, December 21 - Open.
Monday, December 22 - Open/cookie baking marathon.
Tuesday, December 23 - Sonogram (BPP).
Wednesday, December 24 - Christmas Eve, split between my mom and Bill's Aunt Loretta.
Thursday, December 25 - Christmas!
Friday, December 26 - Bill off work, special family prep day.
Saturday, December 27 - More Baby J. prep.
Sunday, December 28 - More Baby J. prep (possibly taking down the Christmas stuff, in readying for Baby J.)
Monday, December 29 - Open.
Tuesday, December 30 - Sonogram.
Wednesday - Baby J.
Wow, that's a lot of days. Ugh. But, if anyone thinks any of those "open" days look appealing, PLEASE sign up to spend them with me. Open is NOT what I want.
But, the gist was how New Years Eve will be Baby J.'s birthday, God-willing. We will be so excited to have awesome slumber parties one day, complete with sparkling cider and silver tinsel! (Parents, you will want your daughter to be nice to J., if you want a free baby sitter on New Years Eve in a few years!)
In lieu of trying to recall my old post, I will post a list of the following days and our potential comings and goings.
Tuesday, December 16 - Sonogram (weight check and BPP) & my birthday.
Wednesday, December 17 - Eleanor's facial reconstruction (major exaggeration).
Thursday, December 18 - OB visit for me & Eleanor to hang out with Patti.
Friday, December 19 - My mom's birthday, maybe my last day with my nephews for two months, & a possible double date.
Saturday, December 20 - Open.
Sunday, December 21 - Open.
Monday, December 22 - Open/cookie baking marathon.
Tuesday, December 23 - Sonogram (BPP).
Wednesday, December 24 - Christmas Eve, split between my mom and Bill's Aunt Loretta.
Thursday, December 25 - Christmas!
Friday, December 26 - Bill off work, special family prep day.
Saturday, December 27 - More Baby J. prep.
Sunday, December 28 - More Baby J. prep (possibly taking down the Christmas stuff, in readying for Baby J.)
Monday, December 29 - Open.
Tuesday, December 30 - Sonogram.
Wednesday - Baby J.
Wow, that's a lot of days. Ugh. But, if anyone thinks any of those "open" days look appealing, PLEASE sign up to spend them with me. Open is NOT what I want.
Update on Miss E.
Eleanor's stitches came out this morning. Three out of four sets were smooth sailing, and they look just like little scratches now. We are very happy with them!
The fourth set, the one I was most concerned about, is in fact infected. (Nasty warning: When they removed the stitches a few millimeters at the top burst open, and there was much pus and blood.) But, if you saw Eleanor, you are not surprised, because the one on her cheek looked pretty nasty and was definitely deep. (Even though our pediatrician had claimed it was not yet infected.)
All in all, she is doing well. And, we will be going to a plastic surgeon on Wednesday - thank goodness she is able to see us at such short notice! :o)
So, today we were at the hospital, tomorrow I have a sonogram, Wednesday the plastic surgeon, and Thursday the OB. What will we do with ourselves on Friday? Haha.
The fourth set, the one I was most concerned about, is in fact infected. (Nasty warning: When they removed the stitches a few millimeters at the top burst open, and there was much pus and blood.) But, if you saw Eleanor, you are not surprised, because the one on her cheek looked pretty nasty and was definitely deep. (Even though our pediatrician had claimed it was not yet infected.)
All in all, she is doing well. And, we will be going to a plastic surgeon on Wednesday - thank goodness she is able to see us at such short notice! :o)
So, today we were at the hospital, tomorrow I have a sonogram, Wednesday the plastic surgeon, and Thursday the OB. What will we do with ourselves on Friday? Haha.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Sweet Eleanor.
OK, so I LOVE Eleanor. So so so so much. But, "sweet" did not describe her today. She was sweet some moments, others so very salty. As in, a fit in the store that made people turn and scowl at me. (Trust me, the looks are even less pleasant when your 18 month old looks like she just got into a major bar brawl.)
That being said, she may have been expecting the trauma that is to come early tomorrow morning. We are getting up bright and early and going back to Howard County General to have her stitches removed. (I have heard this is almost as bad as having the stitches put in.) So, I'd appreciate your thoughts that she might have a peaceful (enough) time. Don't worry, we have Land Before Time, drinkable yogurt, mini-marshmallows, and homemade chocolate chip cookies for post-procedure. (I guess I should also pick up a blood sugar monitor and insulin pump while I am at it, as the diet above is sure to induce Type 2 diabetes.)
That being said, she may have been expecting the trauma that is to come early tomorrow morning. We are getting up bright and early and going back to Howard County General to have her stitches removed. (I have heard this is almost as bad as having the stitches put in.) So, I'd appreciate your thoughts that she might have a peaceful (enough) time. Don't worry, we have Land Before Time, drinkable yogurt, mini-marshmallows, and homemade chocolate chip cookies for post-procedure. (I guess I should also pick up a blood sugar monitor and insulin pump while I am at it, as the diet above is sure to induce Type 2 diabetes.)
17 days.
So, today we broke down and took out some of the baby things for Baby J. (between Eleanor's screaming fits, which were many). We didn't wash them yet, but we took them apart and put the washables in the laundry room ready to go. The frames went to the front of our storage room. Barely even stored. Because we only have to wait 17 days to use them.
I am so excited to meet Baby J. - I am getting out of control excited. (And don't forget anxious, because I am a wreck inside, even if I don't show it. This has been pretty easy, as I've been really pretty withdrawn lately.) But, as soon as I meet Baby J., I am excited for a rendezvous with my pal, percocet. I mean, I am not sure if I've made this clear, but I LOVE *prescription pain relievers. I don't have any shame about it. Bill and I joke that I like to take a nibble of a percocet for any, even minimal, pain. And, it's totally true. I take a tiny (I am a very moderate self-medicater) little bite for a headache, toothache, sore throat, etc. (when I am not pregnant, of course). I am a lucky mama to have help in my first few days, and a plentitude of percs. I will be moving the little TV (that normally lives in Bill's shop) and my DVD player upstairs, taking percs, and loving on Baby J. for quite a few days following her birth. Sweet sweetness. (There will also be Disney movies and drinkable yogurts for Miss Eleanor, should she deign to present herself.)
Come on Baby J. - Mommy wants a perc'd out vacation with you! We can be delirious together.
*It is worth clarifying that I feel justified in this by how totally lame I am. I don't eat meat, eggs, or dairy. I haven't had alcohol in almost five years. I don't stay up late. In fact, I don't dance, sing in public, or wear skirts above the knee. All because I am lame. So, lame or not, I love percocet. Deal with it.
I am so excited to meet Baby J. - I am getting out of control excited. (And don't forget anxious, because I am a wreck inside, even if I don't show it. This has been pretty easy, as I've been really pretty withdrawn lately.) But, as soon as I meet Baby J., I am excited for a rendezvous with my pal, percocet. I mean, I am not sure if I've made this clear, but I LOVE *prescription pain relievers. I don't have any shame about it. Bill and I joke that I like to take a nibble of a percocet for any, even minimal, pain. And, it's totally true. I take a tiny (I am a very moderate self-medicater) little bite for a headache, toothache, sore throat, etc. (when I am not pregnant, of course). I am a lucky mama to have help in my first few days, and a plentitude of percs. I will be moving the little TV (that normally lives in Bill's shop) and my DVD player upstairs, taking percs, and loving on Baby J. for quite a few days following her birth. Sweet sweetness. (There will also be Disney movies and drinkable yogurts for Miss Eleanor, should she deign to present herself.)
Come on Baby J. - Mommy wants a perc'd out vacation with you! We can be delirious together.
*It is worth clarifying that I feel justified in this by how totally lame I am. I don't eat meat, eggs, or dairy. I haven't had alcohol in almost five years. I don't stay up late. In fact, I don't dance, sing in public, or wear skirts above the knee. All because I am lame. So, lame or not, I love percocet. Deal with it.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
18 days.
Ok, so I realize it's only 12:56 am on the 18th day of our wait for Baby J. But, we will be out all day tomorrow, so it's now or never. :o)
I have been having a lovely time with Eleanor, as she returns from her trauma. I have a renewed sense of patience with her, because I know her facial healing will benefit from less crying and extra kisses. (Yes, this means I am giving her most of what she wants. But, let's be honest, I wasn't doing great with the "not spoiling" to begin with.)
We are going to young buddy Jonas' fourth birthday party tomorrow (!) and I was considering deeply what Eleanor would be wearing. (Partly because she will have stitches in her face, I think she deserves to be extra festive.) I think, as it is a holiday themed party (his real birthday is three days shy of Christmas), Eleanor may be wearing one of my old Christmas dresses.
This was a dress I'd considered saving for Baby J. for two Christmases from now. (Because Eleanor has a Christmas and a Christmas Eve dress.) And, that reminded me that there is a similar/contrasting dress that would fit Eleanor Christmas of '10. I am excited to put my girls in not identical but complimentary dresses for many occasions to come. That is one of my favorite things. (Usually, I try to look for three - one for each of my girls. Although, I am not completely crazy and am broke, so I only buy the two that will get worn.)
Anyway, complimentary dresses. This 1 AM post was NOT a good idea. I am zonked. Too pregnant to be up so late. Complimentary outfits in general. Kind of makes me giddy.
Come on Baby J. - I can't wait to dress those little legs!
I have been having a lovely time with Eleanor, as she returns from her trauma. I have a renewed sense of patience with her, because I know her facial healing will benefit from less crying and extra kisses. (Yes, this means I am giving her most of what she wants. But, let's be honest, I wasn't doing great with the "not spoiling" to begin with.)
We are going to young buddy Jonas' fourth birthday party tomorrow (!) and I was considering deeply what Eleanor would be wearing. (Partly because she will have stitches in her face, I think she deserves to be extra festive.) I think, as it is a holiday themed party (his real birthday is three days shy of Christmas), Eleanor may be wearing one of my old Christmas dresses.
This was a dress I'd considered saving for Baby J. for two Christmases from now. (Because Eleanor has a Christmas and a Christmas Eve dress.) And, that reminded me that there is a similar/contrasting dress that would fit Eleanor Christmas of '10. I am excited to put my girls in not identical but complimentary dresses for many occasions to come. That is one of my favorite things. (Usually, I try to look for three - one for each of my girls. Although, I am not completely crazy and am broke, so I only buy the two that will get worn.)
Anyway, complimentary dresses. This 1 AM post was NOT a good idea. I am zonked. Too pregnant to be up so late. Complimentary outfits in general. Kind of makes me giddy.
Come on Baby J. - I can't wait to dress those little legs!
Friday, December 12, 2008
19 days.
Woohoo - we are out of the twenty-somethings and into the teens! I am really excited to do the finishing touches on my house-readying. (Even though I definitely won't do them until after Christmas.) I still need to:
*Get out and wash the baby seats and swings, and scatter them around the house.
*Wash and put away the newborn clothes and blankets.
*Wash the car seat cover.
*Install the car seat.
*Buy/research some new safer non-leaching bottles (in case nursing doesn't work out right away).
*Sterilize my pump.
*Set up my co-sleeper.
*Add NB diapers to my mini changing stations. (I like to keep diapers and wipes on both floors.)
*Pack bags for ourselves, Baby J., and Miss E. (who will be able to stay with her Mimi, Pop, Gee, and Dee).
I'll update as I think of more! :o) This is a good place for me to store my to-do's as well!
Come on Baby J. - I am ready to organize all your "stuff"!
*Get out and wash the baby seats and swings, and scatter them around the house.
*Wash and put away the newborn clothes and blankets.
*Wash the car seat cover.
*Install the car seat.
*Buy/research some new safer non-leaching bottles (in case nursing doesn't work out right away).
*Sterilize my pump.
*Set up my co-sleeper.
*Add NB diapers to my mini changing stations. (I like to keep diapers and wipes on both floors.)
*Pack bags for ourselves, Baby J., and Miss E. (who will be able to stay with her Mimi, Pop, Gee, and Dee).
I'll update as I think of more! :o) This is a good place for me to store my to-do's as well!
Come on Baby J. - I am ready to organize all your "stuff"!
Venting. (Updated)
Turns out, the school had somehow created two accounts for me. And, each time I logged onto to my application, the info I entered was going to a different account. (WTF? That happens?) So, I guess that explains my odd combination of confirmations and missing information...They are in the process of merging my two accounts and have confirmed that everything has been submitted.
So, I sent my graduate application in last Saturday (as in a week ago tomorrow). Confirmed. Sent. Via the school's website. Then, THIS morning at 6 am, I get an email saying I haven't submitted my application. (They were due Monday, as in four days ago.) I log on to check my status and my uploaded files have all been deleted and they claim I have NOT sent the forms I definitely sent (if you have talked to me since then, I told you about it, because I was pretty freaking proud of myself). But, I don't know whether to upload them all again, because I don't want to submit two applications (obviously). So, now I am waiting to hear back from the Surly Miss at the graduate office.
I know this is a small hitch, but I've been pretty down lately. I am SO pregnant. Eleanor's face was eaten and sewn back together. I don't even want to cry - I just want to melt into a pathetic puddle for a few days. I need to "put on my big girl pants" and deal with sh*t, as my father would say. But, man, I don't want to deal with anything. Or at least, I want the things I've already dealt with to be over and done.
So, I sent my graduate application in last Saturday (as in a week ago tomorrow). Confirmed. Sent. Via the school's website. Then, THIS morning at 6 am, I get an email saying I haven't submitted my application. (They were due Monday, as in four days ago.) I log on to check my status and my uploaded files have all been deleted and they claim I have NOT sent the forms I definitely sent (if you have talked to me since then, I told you about it, because I was pretty freaking proud of myself). But, I don't know whether to upload them all again, because I don't want to submit two applications (obviously). So, now I am waiting to hear back from the Surly Miss at the graduate office.
I know this is a small hitch, but I've been pretty down lately. I am SO pregnant. Eleanor's face was eaten and sewn back together. I don't even want to cry - I just want to melt into a pathetic puddle for a few days. I need to "put on my big girl pants" and deal with sh*t, as my father would say. But, man, I don't want to deal with anything. Or at least, I want the things I've already dealt with to be over and done.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
20 days.
Today I saw a tiny baby in the doctor's office. The mom had unbundled him and he was wearing a red and white candy striped suit. He had this golden hair and weighed 6 lbs 14 oz. That's half a pound more than Eleanor at birth. I absolutely couldn't take my eyes off of him. It was just amazing what a pint-sized little man he was. I had forgotten how small and beautiful a new baby is - and how tiny and formed each spindly, widespread finger really is. I am so excited to learn Baby J.'s intricacies. There will be so many nuances of her little silly self. Much like I know the road map of Eleanor's little person, I will be blessed to know that about Baby J. And, while her personality will take time to emerge, in 20 days I will be able to start learning her. That is such an amazing gift.
Come on Baby J. - we want to start snuggling you!
Come on Baby J. - we want to start snuggling you!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
21 days.
Well, we are exactly three weeks from Baby J. How can that possibly feel like SO long?
I can't wait for Eleanor's surprise to see Baby J. And, her transition to big-sisterhood. Eleanor, while she can be temperamental and protective, is very gentle and absolutely fascinated by all things baby. Every time she sees an infant car seat, she peeks around it, looking at and trying to pet what might be inside. I have a feeling that she won't be able to get enough of loving on Baby J. Already, she knows where Baby J. is and loves to kiss "her." She actually calls her "Jaaay," which is very cute. She is also working on her independence and her tutelage in "kicking it" continues; I am sure they will come in handy in three weeks.
Come on Baby J. - Eleanor is waiting!
I can't wait for Eleanor's surprise to see Baby J. And, her transition to big-sisterhood. Eleanor, while she can be temperamental and protective, is very gentle and absolutely fascinated by all things baby. Every time she sees an infant car seat, she peeks around it, looking at and trying to pet what might be inside. I have a feeling that she won't be able to get enough of loving on Baby J. Already, she knows where Baby J. is and loves to kiss "her." She actually calls her "Jaaay," which is very cute. She is also working on her independence and her tutelage in "kicking it" continues; I am sure they will come in handy in three weeks.
Come on Baby J. - Eleanor is waiting!
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Eleanor.
Well, I went back and forth on whether to post about this. But, I decided in the end to do it. Eleanor was bitten by our dog, Miles, yesterday. This resulted in an ER trip and 12 stitches in her perfect, beautiful, little face. (I decided not to post pictures, but it's not pretty.) She is swollen and shaken, but ok. The bite was not disfiguring or medically damaging, so we are very lucky. We had to sign Miles over to the humane society. It was a terrible day.
All I can ask for is a brief thought for her healing. We know she will be fine and that there are other people out there who need warm wishes for more painful or pressing situations (so get to them first!), but the risk of infection and scarring are high. And, we know that she is young and will recover emotionally just fine. Nonetheless, if you have a moment, think of her healing. Thanks friends!
All I can ask for is a brief thought for her healing. We know she will be fine and that there are other people out there who need warm wishes for more painful or pressing situations (so get to them first!), but the risk of infection and scarring are high. And, we know that she is young and will recover emotionally just fine. Nonetheless, if you have a moment, think of her healing. Thanks friends!
22 days.
Well, I am one day from three weeks from Baby J. That makes it seem way worse than it is. This countdown seemed like a great idea, until now it feels like the days are passing like years. And I am afraid that my doctor, in the end, won't agree to December 31st. I simply can't wait to see Baby J. I can't spend more hours lying still, waiting to count kicks. The nerves are getting the best of me, even though overall I've been really good this pregnancy.
That being said, I am really excited to update my prediction on Baby J.'s looks. Rhonda, my very good friend and oracle of all things baby (who has correctly predicted all three of my girls' sexes), has decided that Baby J. could possibly have green eyes. Genetically, of course that's possible, as blue and green eyes (and most eye colors) come from overlapping genetic mutations. (See Lila Blue's amazing blue eyes, for anyone who knows her. And, please, if you are interested in this, I just spent 10 minutes on wikipedia's eye color page (PS - Charlotte, check out to "amber" section on this page. I think some of the Criss kids are "ambers." Fascinating.) Anyway, after thinking about it, I decided that Rhonda is pretty much always right - so I'll go with her! :o)
Come on green eyes! We can't wait to meet you.
That being said, I am really excited to update my prediction on Baby J.'s looks. Rhonda, my very good friend and oracle of all things baby (who has correctly predicted all three of my girls' sexes), has decided that Baby J. could possibly have green eyes. Genetically, of course that's possible, as blue and green eyes (and most eye colors) come from overlapping genetic mutations. (See Lila Blue's amazing blue eyes, for anyone who knows her. And, please, if you are interested in this, I just spent 10 minutes on wikipedia's eye color page (PS - Charlotte, check out to "amber" section on this page. I think some of the Criss kids are "ambers." Fascinating.) Anyway, after thinking about it, I decided that Rhonda is pretty much always right - so I'll go with her! :o)
Come on green eyes! We can't wait to meet you.
Monday, December 08, 2008
23 days.
I was on my way to bed after a terrible and traumatic day, and I remembered I didn't do my daily blog. I don't have much to write here today. Just that I thank heaven for my babies.
Wonderland.
So, I spent a few hours today constructing a totally overdone Winter Wonderland in our living room. (Although, the first picture is of the kitchen, where there was minimal transformation.) I put out so much bric-a-brac. It was fun and, in all honesty, it looks foolish and completely impractical. But, it's festive!
And, of course, Eleanor "helped."
And, of course, Eleanor "helped."
Sunday, December 07, 2008
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