Saturday Baby (Nine Weeks)

Good to Know.

Well, Eleanor seemed to be feeling crappy for the last few days, and had a low-grade fever (ranging from 99.1 to 99.7). So, I cancelled plans and made an appointment yesterday morning last minute for the little sweets to see her friend, Dr. Plotnik (a tiny pixie of a woman-doctor). Upon seeing Eleanor, she proclaimed she was just fine, but agreed to check her out "head to toe" to be sure. Again, prognosis - just fine. Then, we plopped baby on the scale, since I'd come all the way out there. And, Eleanor weighed in at 11 lb 11 oz! That means that the chubby monkey gained 17 oz in nine days! The nurse and doctor crowded around, blamed the crankiness on growing pains and sent me packing! Here are some pictures of the yet-small baby, as she is growing and changing every minute - and is morphing into a "big girl"!

PS - Smiling and laughing hysterically have started along with the crankiness. I guess we are just seeing the beginnings of a pendulous personality!

My heart hurts today.

Forgotten you are not, my sweet first baby.
http://www.myspace.com/reginaspektor

Two Months!

Well, today was Miss Eleanor's two month check-up. She came in at a whopping 10 lbs 10 oz! (Just above the 50th percentile - pretty awesome, given just last month she was in the 10th, AND that she left the hospital at around 5 lb 8 oz.) She is also 22.5 inches long! She grew two inches in one month! (Also just above the 50th percentile.) Finally, head size - 15 inches of pure genius! (Just below 50th percent.) She is a big, wonderful, strong baby. :o)

Her shots, on the other hand, turned her from "big, wonderful, strong baby" into screaming tomato! Her poor little face looked like a beefsteak tomato, and her little eyes were full of tears...:o( But, she's over it now, and sleeping soundly with crayola bandaids on both thighs.

What You've Always Wanted.

I consider myself someone who loves her children and appreciates motherhood as much as anyone. I am sure of that. I love staying home with Eleanor (even though that now includes working), and I relish in her meeting of milestones and the adorable nuances only I can know. But, as anyone with children will say, regardless of how wonderful you believe mothering to be, at certain times it is just plain hard. Babies are people, complete with personalities and complexities, and they are simply uncompromising in their demands. And yet, somehow there seems to be a societal disconnect - a deep schism that exists between some people with children at home and some without. Even myself. I spent much time begrudging people's complaints about the difficulties of child rearing. Thinking they just weren't appreciative enough, patient enough, loving enough, sensitive enough, amazed enough, etc. Now, I understand. But, maybe there is no communicating the fact that "this is all [you've] ever wanted", without ruling out your right to complain reasonably to people and for them to understand. I can say in all seriousness that this has been my dream since childhood, and something dancing just over the border of obsession for the last few years. Home with Eleanor is where I want to be. And, yet sometimes I'd like to reserve the right to complain. Is it the same with all major endeavors? If I were training for a marathon to fulfill a lifelong goal, would I forfeit the right to complain about sore muscles? If I were earning a PhD in rocket science, would I forfeit the right to complain about the difficulty of my studies? If I were hiking the Appalachian Trail when August rolled around, would I forfeit the right to occasionally slump to a seated position at the foot of a tree, rest my eyes for a few minutes and lament my exhaustion? If training to be an acrobat, would I forfeit my right to cry if I fell on my face or ass repeatedly every day? I guess maybe I would. If you are not a marathon runner, PhD candidate, August-Appalachian-Trail-hiker, mom, or acrobat, I guess you wouldn't understand. But, I can't imagine, should one of my friends, family members, or spouse complain to me about one of the above lamentations that I would shrug my shoulders, and through quizzical eyes query them that, "Isn't this all you've ever wanted?"

I want to verbally cut people to bits when they say things like that. Yes, dang it, it's what I want. But that doesn't mean it isn't the hardest thing I've ever done. It doesn't mean I don't miss my carefree life of showering, eating meals, having five minutes alone, talking to my husband, watching occasional movies, having money, or, heaven forbid, I complain that I miss teaching. I won't even "go" there. I am looking at Eleanor right now, sleeping peacefully next to me, and I know this is where I am meant to be. But, so help me, she is exhausting. You can love someone and acknowledge that they are exhausting, right? I mean, I love her and somehow her birth coincided with the most acute exhaustion of my life, so I think I can confidently say that she is lovely, wonderful, amazing, and perfectly exhausting.

I could go on and on with this diatribe, but I won't. Suffice to say, I am meant to be home with my Eleanor - she is truly my dream come true - but I am incomprehensibly tired.

Queen of the one-liners...

I HAVE MASTITIS! YES!!!!

:o(

I appreciate a guardian angel.

But, I'd prefer a big sister.

Things you may not know about Eleanor.

She cries crocodile tears.
She hates the sound velcro makes.
She hates to be cold.
She is generally sweet, but sometimes salty.
She hates those long sack dresses.
She hardly smiles, but when she does, it's heavenly.
She is intrigued by light flickering through the trees.
She finally has rolls in her upper legs.
She is bound to be a terror.
She has a hernia, which makes her belly button look like a clown's nose.
She hates white noise.
She loves ceiling fans.

With Cousin Avery!

Another installment in the Eleanor With Peers Series.

Avery is one of Eleanor's new cousins, and also her new friend! Eleanor and Avery (daughter to Bill's cousin Bridget and her husband, Michael) have been spotted walking some of Maryland's most beautiful parks. They have been accompanied by henceforth unidentified sweat-laden "drivers", rumored to be "the moms".

Who does she look like now?

Well, it is common knowledge that Eleanor does not really look like me or Bill. People often will say she is starting to look like one or the other of us, and then follow up with, "hmm, well..." I am thinking she looks more like Bill from the side, and certain angles of her face. Maybe? But, she distinctly resembles my dad...I think? I've heard she looks like Krissie (sister-in-law), my mom, Bill's dad, Bill's grandfather, Marie (sister), my dad, Nick (my nephew). Who knows. But, if I was vying for resemblance, this outfit would certainly help. A little memorabilia from my own childhood.