A few things about breast(milk) feeding as of now.
1) I have 300 + ounces of breast milk in the freezer. I am actually trying to find a chest-style additional deep freezer. (For free. Haha.)
2) When at the mall with our friends Abigail and Melissa today, I went on and on about my feelings about giving Josephine bottled milk (which I did while we were there). Melissa is really excellent about making me feel like my choices are ok, but I was even annoying myself with my prattle about what people think of me. That being said, I need to work on that.
3) For a while, I've been wanting to blog about this. Although 2 am may not be the best time for its readability, here goes (I'll make it short). While bottle feeding does make me feel inadequate, pumping makes me feel great. What makes me feel bad about bottle feeding is the lack of nursing. Even in its absence, nursing made me feel bad about myself. I felt like there was no way I could do it. I was unsuccessful. That is a feeling, as you can tell, I don't do well with. But, pumping on the other hand gives me something to feel proud of. My freezer full of milk, the money I am saving my family, and giving Josephine the best of the best makes me like my top half for the first time in my life! I am secure that I am doing all I can and that my baby will love me for it...
...you know what, this was going to go on, but I am too tired right now. Just fell asleep. Haha. Later for all that!
Goodnight.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
I have a love/hate relationship with my pump too. Mostly, I love it when I'm hugely uncomfortable and I think "thank God I live in a time where they have technology for me to feed this baby"
Your kids are so lucky that you have that kind of devotion!
aww, thanks for that.
there's a substantial reason for you to NOT breastfeed. you gave it an honest shot, and it was painful (beyond the norm) for you, so why continue doing something that just doesn't work and is going to cause you great pain? pumping works for you, and that is fantastic that you are doing that. a lot of mothers don't even give breastfeeding a shot and go straight to forumla (which i find a little ridiculous). and some try breastfeeding, doesn't work, and then go straight to forumla.
there is a physical reason that it just doesn't work out for you, and that is okay. i think it's awesome that you chose to go the pump route as opposed to just going the formula route ... and even IF you had tried the pumping route and then decided that was for the birds, and then went straight to formula it's still an honest trying. i just have discontent for people who give up too easily because it's "too hard". maybe that makes me a b*tch. whatever.
bottom line: pumping is awesome. and you are awesome for doing it. you could've given up totally, and you didn't. you need to make a teeshirt (with puffy paint and a bedazzler!) that states that pumping is awesome, so that when you go out and feed Josephine from a bottle, you can wear it with pride to show the world and say f you to anyone who may be judging. i will help you make it.
(and this might be a record!)
also, i can see how you'd beat yourself up over it, because i'd be doing the same thing. just stop it - silence the inner critic. it's not worth listening to her. :)
Catherine, Eleanor and Josephine are blessed to have a mom who cares so much about them and who wants to provide the best she can for them. And the fact that you are secure and comfortable and content in pumping (plus all the benefits it provides for your family)....well, that's the best part of all.
I hear you all the way. Pumping lots of milk does make you feel pretty good.
For these situations, it is important to remember that the only one judging you is yourself.
I should have something better to say given that I pumped 10000 ounces over 2 years. I guess the flu has taken over my brain.
Post a Comment