This is about to get so freaking real.
Sometimes...I watch ABC Family's Make It Or Break It.
Sometimes...I watch it in a leotard. Or tank top and underpants. Whatever. Just so I can pose and strut when I drag my lazy bones out of bed to pee or get another cup of coffee.
Sometimes...when the episode comes to an end, I feel rather hyper-obsessed with gymnastics.
Sometimes...I feel the urge to vault.
Always...I realize I neither have access to a vault, nor could I vault if I tried.
Always...I decide to use the kitchen sink as a pseudo-vault. At that point, I stand at the top of my stairs (in above specified attire).
Always...I go up on my toes, serious-faced, and prepare.
Always...I run full force to the sink. Plant both feet. Spring!
Sometimes...the planets align. Hands placed just right. Superb straddle jump or sideways kick or just a magnificent spring.
Sometimes...I stick the landing!
Sometimes...my body goes all haywire. Legs akimbo, as Karolyi says, "The grace of a jaunty robot tortoise."
Never...do I get more than four inches of air.
Sometimes...I stumble on the landing. Which Karolyi seems to think is particularly infuriating, given the low possible point total of my vault.
Always...I do this about 25 or 30 times, until my head is pounding and my wrists are sore from the level of athleticism and exertion.
Always...Bill is on alert for a call from Eleanor that Mommy has collapsed in the sink in her underpants in a feat of gymnastic brilliance.
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5 comments:
I would pay to see this.
I approve. And do something similar--except I repeatedly leap across the living room and/or do handstands. I showed Peter my handstand once, but the bewildered look on his face told me Never Again. hahha.
I have no idea what you are talking about but I just laughed until my head hurt.
You are awesome.
I love you for so many reasons, but this just took it a step up!
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