Well, the transition to big sister from queen bee has been harder for Eleanor than I'd imagined. Here are some factors:
1) She is very jealous of Josephine - as in, she wants to be held if Josephine is being held. She wants the blanket Josephine is wrapped in. She wants what Josephine is eating (bottle or breast). She wants to be in the baby seat in which Josephine is sitting.
2) Mostly though, Eleanor just wants the extra attention back and wants to be included in feeding her, dressing her, holding her, etc. She can't understand when we tell her "No" to feeding the baby. When she does get a chance to "help" with Josephine, she is really overly eager and excited. And, that puts us all a little on edge. Except for her, and then she feels dampened when we tell her to be "gentle" and end up eventually taking the baby away.
3) I am feeling an intense amount of guilt that I can't pick Eleanor up. It stinks that at a very important time for a little girl to have a mommy, her mommy has to worry about popping at staple. I miss our hugs. :o( (And, although I already love Josephine with my whole heart, I do miss the days of "momma and Eleanor" time. I look forward to days when I can put Josephine down for a nap and give Eleanor all the attention her sweet heart can handle!
4) All this change is making Eleanor run very hot and cold. She is extra sensitive to being told "no," which was never her strong point. She is quick to run to family members other than me and Bill - partly because we are the offenders and partly because she's been with them the last few days.
All this being said, I know this is a phase that will end when I am able to hold her, wrestle her, tickle her, chase her again. Then, hopefully, she won't feel as if so much has changed. Also, then it will just be me, E, and J at home. (The grammies and aunties are such superior helpers now though, during the time we need it!) We'll get back to some semblance of our routine. Also, by two weeks old or so, Josephine will be the tiniest bit stronger and I will feel less anxious about her interactions with Sweet Eleanor.
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5 comments:
aww. poor, sweet girl. change is hard for anyone, and probably most especially for anyone's who are small. (i'm not especially fond of change myself, so i can commiserate with her) say the word and Abigail and I will make the loooong (ha) trip over! :) in the meantime, give her a squeeze from her friends! :)
In about a week or so, she will forget that there was ever a time w/o her baby sister.
Westbrook wanted to be involved in everything, too. We made a point to do things that made him feel important... like take Llandis out of the baby seat so he could sit in it. We let him use all of her stuff (w/i reason) so it became less special. He was bored of her stuff in a few days :)
These first few days can be hard for everyone. I remember how hard it was for me not being able to pick up Kirby after Bennett was born--that was the worst part of a second c-section. I used to lay on the couch and let him cuddle up next to me...well during those rare baby sleeping moments.
I will be thinking of you all and saying a little prayer for Eleanor to get through this quickly.
Aww! No experience here, but big hugs!
I'll never forget feeding Daniel and having Nick run around like the little boy he was...It was a constant fear that Nick would do something to his brother. Yes he was jealous but as much as I could make him my helper with Daniel and involve in with changing, feeding, getting me various items I didn't need for his brother the more involved he became. He started carrying his baby around like I was carrying our new baby around...It gets better and I would bet when you are in better physical condition (minus staples) you'll see that this is challenging but ultimately very gratifying. Involve E in everything you do so she becomes a part of....Pics are great...
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