Fresh Out of Poetry.

Well, it's official. I am empty of poetry. Maybe I've been too busy to feel. Maybe it's easier right now to put my emotions on the backburner - not to let them seep out in their usual ways. Maybe fear and excitement have taken over. But, either way, nothing poetic is coming out. Not even anything eloquent. Either way, I am okay with that.

Some people actually have babies at the point in pregnancy where I am. Some people actually just "go into labor". Hmm, foreign concept, I know. But, it does happen.

So, 13 days until baby, unless my "water breaks". Haha, yeah right.

13 or 14.

Well, yesterday I found out that my pregnancy-fantasy will come true in 13 days. We will be admitted to the hospital, and monitored throughout the night. Awesome.



And, in 14 days, my life-fantasy...



Two more OB appointments.

Two more NonStressTests.

Two more BioPhysicalProfiles.

Seven more days of school.

13 more shots of lovenox.

Two more days of aftercare.

One more class with my eighth graders.

One more faculty meeting.



We are down to a couple of "one[s]".



Please pray for my support group friend and her family. She is being induced on Friday. I am praying for the safe arrival of her baby boy.

20 days.

20 days. Less than three weeks. Two more "trash pick-up days". As of a week from today, it will be less than two weeks. Then, I will be able to say one week and six days. 10 more days of school, plus three weekends, plus two close-out days at the school. Nine more doctor's appoinments. Two more lawn-mows (by Bill). Zero more episodes of Lost, and the Office. Three more episodes of Rob&Big. One more scheduled dinner with my dad. Six more big breakfasts. 20 more gallons of water.

Still feels like an interminable number of days. But, it is *not infinity - it is somehow countable.

Remember when I posted about 40 days? Well, half that time has passed - and it feels like I wrote that yesterday. Half of 20 is 10. Half of 10 is five. Half of 5 is 2.5...Well, I guess, if I keep cutting it in half, it literally IS infinity. So, let's just say June 13th will come, whatever that means.

Still here.

Okay, so I know it has been a while. I am just trying to make it to June 13th, and each day that goes by is just one closer. So, it is hard to find things to write about in the whirlwind of just trying to survive. But, here is everything I have going on.

1) I officially gave notice that I am not coming back to work in August.
2) Bill (aka Ethan the Till-Master) and I planted a tomato garden.
3) I have exploded into utter hugeness, almost reaching my total Sophie-weight (39 weeks) at only 34.5 weeks.
4) I have become a miserable crab-apple of a hermit.
5) That's all I've got.

23 days until BBLSTM. That is 552 hours. That is 33,120 minutes. (Hmm, this is making me feel worse, rather than better). 23 days - we'll stick with that.

Dust on her hands.

The lifespan of butterflies -
lamentably brief.
Her wings, laid to rest -
Nature's heart breaks with grief.
Her heart ceased to beat -
another proves torn.
The crimson flight dust -
washed clean by the storm.
The sight of arms, legs and wings -
soft and finally fold.
She rests gently in hands -
she, heavy hearts hold.

(dedicated to Christine, who lost her baby on May 10, 2007
- and to all mothers.)