Missing you.

As usual, Sophie Salome, I am missing you.  No need to get into the hard, deeper feelings of the past weeks.  Not here or now.  Today was beautiful.  Despite pendulous weather, we had a beautiful day.  But, it hurt to miss you like this. 

Who would have known your sister Eleanor would be the queen of trick or treat?  (Um, duh, everyone probably knew that.)  But, she marched from house to house, yelling "Happy Halloween!" and cackling like a witch.  It was delightful.  You would have loved it, too.

Who would have known your sister Josephine would have ridden content the whole time strapped to me?  (Again, everyone.)  But, she rode from house to house, babbling and being very brave in the drizzle.  And, kicking her pointed toes like a ballerina.  It was delightful.  You would have loved it, too.

Those things are such wonderful realities to live each day, and today was a good one for memories.  And, they make me ache for life with my four year old.  Four years, I've been your mom, and each of those thousands of days I've wished for you.  I still wish for you, all day every day.  And, imagine your sweet face, your "Trick or Treat," your strut down the sidewalk, your giggling with Eleanor while we wash the color from your hair, and your protests at bedtime.  My life could only be more wonderful if you were here with me.  Miss you, sweet girl.

We love you.  "I wish you would come back, but I know that you can't, so I guess this will have to be enough."